I Do Not Regret To Inform You…

I do not regret to inform you that the final decision was made last Friday, before our trip, that Mr. Weenie had to go. I know, I know, I have already heard the groans about Facebook and Twitter updates regarding the dog, but it was way. past. time. I’m sorry if you don’t find me interesting enough to keep as a friend due to the fact that there will be no more #NotoriousMrWeenieStrikesAgain posts! lol..I will try to find something equally as amusing! The girls were upset at first, but I think they have realized that life has been a hell of a lot easier this past week. The girls both caught some flack from friends because “he was just a puppy”, “he didn’t know better”, “give him more time”, blah, blah, blah. Well, I’m sorry, they don’t understand the fact that inbred imbecile cost us a shit ton of money!

I am excited to know that I can now open the door for company without wondering where he is and if he is going to get out and run the neighborhood like a raped ape. I can replace the mini blinds on the windows that he chewed through because we were not courteous enough to open them before we left so he could see out. I don’t have to worry about putting the garbage up, pushing chairs in, or forgetting to our shoes on the porch so that he can’t eat them. FUN FACT: Last summer alone, that moron ate at least 10 pair of flip-flops…and when I say he ate them, that means that he decimated them into tiny little bits then proceeded to struggle to poop colorful logs on the front lawn. I know, it all could have been avoided if we would have remembered they were out, but flip flops were the last thing on my mind as I was cleaning up his other messes!

The final straw was the Saturday before, I forgot to put the garbage up before I left for my daughters softball game. I had a ton of things on my mind and just plain forgot. Silly me, right? Well, I had thrown away a chicken carcass after making chicken salad (kick ass by the way!), he tipped the garbage over and ATE IT ALL! The bones and everything. I swear he has 9 lives because that wasn’t the first time he had done it and aren’t dogs supposed to choke on chicken bones? I was not informed of this go round with the garbage until the next day, since the hubby and kids came home before I did and picked up what mess was left. I did ask what died on the kitchen floor since there was a large spot that no one cleaned up, but I didn’t get an answer on that one. Nope, I got to find out the hard way when the dog had the raging runs and was throwing up the next day! Fun Fun! Just how anyone wants to spend their day..cleaning up dog puddles! Anyway, we had finally just had enough of his constant messes. Our kids were never into as many things as he was when they were little! BUT, on a bright note for those who may be concerned about his well-being, we believe he has already been adopted and hopefully he is with a family with a fence! Bright note for me? I haven’t had to clean up a pile of dog crap off the living room floor in a little over a week!

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