I’ve been meaning to do this for a while now, but here it goes today! A while back when I started getting followers that I didn’t know.. (haha, yes I find this funny, because for some reason I really thought I was only going to end up with people that actually knew me..yeah, I’m a moron)..I got a notification saying I was being followed by “Brice Maiurro”. Naturally, me being curious as to what kinda blog he had going on, I clicked on his page. I have to honestly tell you that I felt quite stalker-ish for a while, because I could just sit and read this guys work all. freakin. day! He is an amazing writer. I haven’t come across a single poem on his page that I have not liked. He inspires me to want to be a better writer With that being said, I think you all should do me a favor and go check out his blog @ WWW.FLASHLIGHTCITYBLUES.COM .
I have not disappeared..really. I am still hanging around. I just haven’t felt the urge to blog. Sorry for those that have missed me. I got a message from a lovely lady, that always has a way of bringing a smile to my face and has been encouraging, wondering if she has missed something..Nope, Pixie (;)) , I’ve just been in a funk! I would rather my blog be about happy and fun things…I just haven’t been my usual ball of happy and fun! But, I have been writing..just not on here..I’m not going to say exactly what it is, but it has to do with something that Miss Pixie and my bestie have been telling me I should try..so we shall see how that goes!
Anyway, I have been getting into some other things while I have been absent from my page. I have always enjoyed cooking and baking, and I have really gotten into making/decorating cupcakes. It gives me something to focus on for a little bit to get my mind off all of the other crap that is running through it and makes me feel a sense of pride and accomplishment when I’m done! It’s just one of those things you can look at and think “Wow! Those look really awesome and I did that!” I like to be able to use my creativity and make things look pretty! Oh, and yummy!
Speaking of cooking, baking and end of November…tomorrow brings my most favorite holiday. Thanksgiving! I love Thanksgiving, because I feel that it is more of a time to reflect on things in your life, than any other holiday. You get together with your families, just like every other holiday, but it is a time to give thanks for what you have so it really makes me think of what I am thankful for. I don’t think like a lot of other people. I see posts on Facebook, where others are thankful for a lot of material things. I am not a material person, so I can’t say that I am thankful for a whole lot of material items. Yes, I am thankful that I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, shoes on my feet, and the other material things that everyone needs and should be thankful that they have. I tend to think of these more as necessities than anything else and there are too many people out there in this world that don’t have these things. The things that I am mostly thankful for are things that can never be replaced..things that, if they weren’t in my life I would be completely lost..things that are here today and are not guaranteed to be tomorrow. I am thankful that I have been given one more day. This is one more day that I have to be able to love my family.. to watch my beautiful daughters grow, smile, laugh, fight, cry, and live their ‘one more day’..to be able to love them with all that I have and know that they are, by far the BEST, accomplishments in my life. I am thankful for being given the gift of their unconditional love and the opportunity to be their mommy! Without them, I would not be who I am and I would be completely lost. I am thankful that, with this one more day, I have people that encourage me and love me unconditionally..no matter how many times I mess up, want to quit, feel like I have let them down, or just shut down. I know that they will be there for me to keep me on the right road and show me all the reasons that I need to keep my head up. I am thankful for all of the people in my life that bring a smile to my face…Every once in a while you just need that smile or laugh, from out of no where that makes you shake your head. I am thankful for all the little things..every little thing that I see or hear or touch that brings forth an emotion. Those are things that can never be replaced. You will never know if you were meant to see them or hear them, but they are now a memory that you have to hold on to. I am thankful that tomorrow I will get to use my talents and creativity in the kitchen and cook a nice meal for my family and be able to sit down, enjoy their company, and think about what I am thankful for with each of them.
Oh, and hey, I just so happen to be thankful for everyone that reads my meaningless chatter! You guys really are awesome and you are right up there in the “people who bring a smile to my face” category! So, Happy Thanksgiving to all of you and I hope you have a wonderful day with your families!
Today is the day!!! I’m so freakin tickled I get to meet a bunch of kick ass authors in Chicago for the TFEiC!! So, this is my first time riding a train..possible cab..and most of all actually speaking to COLLEEN FREAKIN HOOVER! Yep..she’s sorta super hero worship status worthy in my book! Silver Sharpies in had..these ladies are gonna sign my kindle!
Sorry for errors…this ones posted from my handheld lifeline a.k.a. my phone!
I have to start out by saying that I am sorry *sigh*again, for any inconvenience my absence may have caused. Yeah, I know, I’m not all that important, but I just thought I would throw that in there. I thought that by now I would have a little extra time to be hanging around on the computer..guess not! It seems like every time I turn around lately one shit storm or another is brewing and I have no choice but to walk on through to the other side. Such is life, right?
There are so many places that I originally intended to go with this blog. So far, I don’t seem to be making headway in any direction, besides dull and boring. That could be because I have a little birdie that keeps chirping in my ear about what I should and shouldn’t post. Hmm..well, as far as I am concerned, I think I will just spout my thoughts whenever I damn well please and whatever lands in this white box is free game. I seem to remember my very first post saying something along the lines of “if you don’t like what I have to say..don’t read it”..I’m not twisting anyone’s arm to sit here and read a damn thing!
That being said, I’m telling you I am in a strange, random mood this evening! Normally right about now I would be reading. Kids are in bed. The husband is taking up residency across the bed watching Sons of Anarchy (on his cell phone of all things) trying to get caught up on all of the seasons. Me? I’m a mixed bag of clusterf%&*! I think it may have to do with the fact I drank a half gallon of lemon tea today. Yeah, I would say that would be it, since I can’t sit still and my thoughts are racing from one thing to another. I can honestly say I am feeling happy, pissy, excited and sad, all at the same time.
I am happy because, even though it’s not official, it feels like fall. I have christened it’s unofficial existence by severely abusing the 350 degree heat setting on my oven. I freaking love to bake. It is the one and only thing that I will freely admit I am good at! **We will continue to look past last Thanksgivings cherry pie mishap. It looked great on the outside..the inside looked like a sacrifice of sorts. In my defense, I had three other pies going and that one should have went in first.** Anyway, fall months also bring my favorite holiday. I love cooking for the family. If you are my Facebook friend/relative, you already know this. I don’t know why, but I just like the thought of being able to cook a huge meal for a bunch of people. It gives me a sense of satisfaction, that I set out to do something, worked really hard, and in the end everybody enjoyed themselves. I have plans to continue the thorough use of my oven for the rest of the week. It’s a damn good thing I don’t partake in many of my treats, because I would have to put a treadmill in the other corner of the kitchen (might mot be a bad idea anyway :)).
I’m pissy because, if I have to make one more phone call to the internet company this week, I am going to drive around town until I see one of their vans, drag one of the “crafty assholes” to my house, show him up close and personal like, that we DO NOT have their cable service and not so kindly let them know that if they shut my service off again because of a past due bill on services that I do not render from their company, they can shove the whole damn thing up their asses. Seriously? How in the hell do you charge someone for cable and internet, when they are signed up for an internet only package, then try to tell them that they still owe $102 for services that WERE NEVER INSTALLED? One girl I talked to was convinced it was a conspiracy to steal cable..Really? I pay for satellite..why in the hell would I need cable too? I really don’t like tossing money out the window every month. UGH..what a bunch of morons!
I am excited because I have been writing more. Tossing around some scary ideas in my head. If, in fact, those “scary ideas” become more than ideas, I may let you in on it. ; )
And finally, sad. I’m not sure why, but every time I stop for a few minutes and really think, I just feel sad. Maybe it’s the weather change..who knows.
But, anyway..There ya have it! That’s what I’ve been up too for a little bit and what I’ve been thinking about. Hopefully, I will spout some more randoms from my phone here and there..short little quickies to let ya know I’m still teetering on this side of the edge of the Earth!
Questions, comments, concerns on my questionable comments are always welcome —>over there is the e-mail address!
Blah! Great way to start an entry, huh?! Well, I’ve been in a big ‘ol funk and I don’t think I can find a shovel big enough to scoop myself out. I’m trying not to let it get me down, but some things are easier said than done. Hopefully I am not the only adult in the world that feels like screaming, crying, laughing hysterically, and flailing around like a two-year old having a full on temper tantrum, every once in a while! Then again, I’m not sure that would even help…just make me look like a fool and get me a one way ticket with the white coats! lol..Anyway, enough of that! I thought I would share more of my “Proud Mommy Moments”!
I mentioned in my previous post, “Yesterdays Mail”, that both of my girls seem to be really enjoying school…well, as much as any kid really enjoys it, but we haven’t had too many complaints. Malerie (9) is doing well already. She aced her first spelling test and wrote a story about “The Girl Who Always Smiled”. It is always quite funny when you get a chance to get inside Mal’s head and find out what’s going on in there! This story was sad and hilarious all at the same time. The girl, Stella (have no clue where she came up with the name), was being picked on at school, because her face got stuck in a huge smile. The kids at school wanted to know why she smiled all the time and why she was talking funny. Stella became upset because she was being picked on so much and she didn’t know why her face had gotten stuck, so she stood up for herself and told the other kids that it wasn’t nice to pick on other people for the way they look (written in capital letters, and all!) and the kids finally left her alone. It was sad, to me, that my little girl wrote a story like this…about a girl being bullied for her appearance, but at the same time I was proud that she ended her story with the girl doing something about it and standing up for herself. The hilarious part was her reading/shouting the story to me and the pictures that she drew of Stella and the other kids. I love the fact that my kids have crazy imaginations, but can somehow put a real life issue into perspective at such a young age. Kinda makes me feel like I’m doing something right.
I also mentioned last time that, Madelynn (11), has started volleyball. Her first game was last week, she wasn’t able to play because she had broken a blood vessel in her wrist, but they won! Last night was the first home game and she got to play. This is the second sport that she has ever been in. Over the summer both girls were in fast pitch soft ball for the first time and seemed to adjust and do really well. Madelynn’s team has had practice every night after school and when she sets her mind on something, she really gets into it…she is constantly messing around with her ball in the yard. I cannot begin to tell you the swell of pride I had while watching her play that game last night! She is a rock star when it comes to serving the ball! She had fans cheering for her in the bleachers! They do two games up to 25 points and the third game is up to 15. I was pretty impressed when they rotated around the first set and she served. I was thinking, holy crap that was awesome! The girls have to rotate out, too, but the coach kept her in and all but one serve was perfectly over the net! She started the third game serving and it was, like, every time she served, the opposing team could not return it! She had five points on the board! I was seriously getting teary eyed watching her. She is always so nervous about things, but she just looked so confident and it was like she had found this perfect spot in the floor and there was no stopping her! The rest of her team played well, too. They didn’t win last night, but they tried hard and that is all that matters. I am definitely excited to see more!
So, there are two of my “Proud Mommy Moments” for the week! I suppose I should get off of this thing and do some grown up type activity *groan*!
Love and Loathe…. updated
I have lots of things that I want to get posted on here, but I just haven’t had the time lately. The back to school routine should settle down here soon and I hope to have more time. Just like any other mom, I was more than ready for the ladies to head back to school, but this school year has had me a little nervous. Our oldest started middle school. I’m not sure why I’m freaking out, internally, that she is now in 6th grade. Maybe it’s because it doesn’t seem like all that long ago I was there, in the same school (it was our high school then), feeling shy and awkward, trying to remember which class I had next, that stupid locker combination that wouldn’t work because I was always getting my gym combo and hall combo confused? Or, maybe I just can’t come to terms with the fact that she is growing up too fast and that makes me feel OLD!! Yep, that’s it! I remember putting her pretty little face on the school bus for Kindergarten. I cried. Two years later, putting our youngest on the bus was a breeze! I teared up a little, but not like when Madelynn left that day. I think about this and wonder, why? I was used to having, at least, one of my girls home with me all day and now they are both gone. I should have been a mess..guess that episode is still a mystery, because I can’t figure it out! So, this school year starts. I took Madelynn for her open house. I was fine. I was fine until I got home from dropping them both off that first day and I lost it again! (I’m actually getting emotional writing this..Geez!) Malerie seems to love 4th grade, so far. When we found out who her teacher was going to be, I knew it was going to be okay for her, because she had the same teacher for Kindergarten. Madelynn is now in school sports. She is a little more adventurous, like her dad. I didn’t do sports in school..I was on the yearbook committee..Good enough! We are a full week in to school now and everything seems to be going good. Mornings are working out with less arguing than in past years and soon we will be going to Madelynns volleyball games.
On to the title and reason for this post..I got the mail yesterday and I teared up again. Don’t get me wrong, I usually feel like crying or destroying the mailbox when I get the mail, but I maintain because that’s not real mature! Anyway, yesterday the only thing in the mailbox was a light blue post card. On the label it said, “To the Parents/Guardian of: Madelynn”. I flipped it over, while pulled up to the mailbox, in the wrong lane of traffic (good thing we don’t have much traffic on our street) and read the following:
Dear Mom and Dad,
Wednesday our first day of school went good as you know. I had Mr. Erb for a homeroom.
I love this school. It was hard at first but I like it a lot. We can chew gum and eat candy and have
our cell phones. The teachers are nice. Lockers are getting easier everyday, except for the fact I
need to clean it! The thing I don’t like is the locker is next to the bell. That is SO LOUD! Mrs. Bivins
is an awesome teacher. She is my teacher before the lunch!
It may be strange to some, but that little post card, with her hand writing, telling us about school made me feel so much better. In the past the kids have received letters or post cards from their teachers, but we have never received anything like that. It is a little hard to read, since she wrote it in pencil, but I plan on keeping that with all of her other school memories. Once again, it’s the simple, little things in life that make me happy or feel better. That little blue post card was the highlight of my day..all because I got yesterdays mail.
Sorry to those who are fans of my nonsensical musings..I haven’t had a whole lot of time to write. I’m jotting some stuff down now and I have quite a few things I need to get posted on here, so stay tuned! Hope everyone is having a great day!
Sorry for errors…this ones posted from my handheld lifeline a.k.a. my phone!
This entry is brought to you courtesy of my caffeine depraved morning fog. This, for the poor souls that have to bear with me first thing in the a.m., can be considered downright scary.
It is almost 10 am and I haven’t had my first full cup..the gears need oiling and I feel like I slept face down in a sand box. All I can see are the vividly, real dreams I was stuck in. Stuck as in I know they are dreams and I consciously tell myself to wake up, but my subconscious thinks I need to see these things…three quarters of the time, they scare the shit out of me. I am “one of those people” that think/know dreams have meaning. I have looked up my dreams on several occasions, had repeat dreams (that have all ended up leaving me one less loved one and completely confused) and they all relate to what’s going on in my life, how I feel about my self, or are some freakin psycho/psychic premonition of doom. Not one has ever resulted in happiness.
The main thing I do not understand about all of it is, how can a person dream so vividly of a person they have never met or of places they have never seen or been? I honestly think this has something to do with my insomnia. I mean, who really wants to go to sleep knowing what’s waiting there?! My husband, of the little bits I’ve told him, says maybe it has to do with all the books I read. If that were the case, I would be having happy dreams, I think!
This is so frustrating and has ruined my morning. All I keep seeing is beyond crazy shit and when I have these kind of dreams it zaps most of my energy. I feel like a bus wreck. I don’t think this is normal! Any suggestions as to how to drag my mind away from this crap?!
Sorry for errors…this ones posted from my handheld lifeline a.k.a. my phone!